


The Joke is in the App

by EndoratheWitch



Series: Gotham Nights [28]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: The Animated Series, Batman: The Dark Prince Charming (Comics), Harley Quinn (Comics), Suicide Squad (2016), The Joker - Fandom
Genre: Bruce Wayne is Batman, Clowns, F/M, Job Interview, Non-abusive Joker and Harley, Video & Computer Games, because smut, programmer, video game app
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:00:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22877473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EndoratheWitch/pseuds/EndoratheWitch
Summary: Joker thinks of a way to make the gang money
Relationships: Joker (DCU)/Harleen Quinzel
Series: Gotham Nights [28]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/551110
Comments: 10
Kudos: 40





	The Joke is in the App

The sound of the running water from the shower mixed with the sounds of their grunts and moans. Joker pulled Harley back against him, his fingers pressed into the soft, wet skin of her hips, his erection buried deep inside her. He licked his lips, dragging his upper teeth over his bottom lip as he looked down at her, the smooth curve of her back, the soft flesh of her backside pressed up against him. Just looking at her gave him a rush of pleasure, but the added feeling of being inside Harley, feeling that smooth, wet, slip and slide as he pounded her made his knees shake. 

He groaned loudly while arching his back, yanking her back against him. Harley, her hands on the back wall of the shower and water beating down on her back, pushed back against Joker, glancing over her shoulder to give him a saucy smile and wink. She loved the feel of him holding her hips, that firm grip combined with his hard thrusts had her seeing stars. 

Joker chuckled with pleasure, thrusting into her. The wet slapping sound of flesh against flesh mixed with the sounds of their heated moaning had him struggling to hold back; he wanted to hear her one more time, hear his Harley call his name... 

Harley gasped and arched her back, pressing her rear back against him almost knocking Joker off his feet, her body tightening as a knee weakening orgasm rolled over her in a wave. She cried out, her fingers slipping on the wet wall. “Uh! Puddin!!” 

Joker barely managed to keep his feet under him in the wet, slippery tub when she pressed back aggressively as she came. At the same time he felt her tightening, the delicious shudder of pleasure when her body tightened around him, the wash of liquid as she became wetter with her climax. Joker dug his fingers into her hips a little harder, yanking her back, slamming into her quick and hard, his own orgasm building until he came with a loud groan to meet his wife’s pleasure. 

* 

Joker whisted merrilly to himself, standing in the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his slender hips, another around his curly green hair as he leaned close to the mirror and applied the green facial mask to his ghost-white skin. Harley was in the other room. He had popped his head through the door a moment ago to check on her. She was playing with her phone, doing something or other with it--he wasn’t sure what--but she looked adorable, her mostly dry hair in pigtails, wearing a pink nightie with lace and little teddy bears on it. The nightie was short, showing off her legs and the ruffled panties she wore underneath. She was lying with her back on the mattress, her feet dangling over the side where she kicked them occasionally. 

Spreading the green goop over his face, Joker changed his whistling to a hum when suddenly he heard Harley let out an angry yelp. 

Joker’s eyes widened in panic. Something was wrong with his girl! He didn’t hesitate, grabbing the pistol that he kept on the back of the toilet (he had told Harley it was good to have a gun, or two, even of couple of knives at the ready in every room if possible, just in case) and came rushing out of the bathroom his revolver in his hand ready to shoot. 

“Is it that rat again?!” Joker asked looking around, his gun in hand, knees slightly bent, wrapped in his towels with his face now painted green, ready to shoot the offending rodent. 

Harley had rolled onto her stomach, her feet in the air, her phone in her hands. She glanced over with an amused smirk on her lips while taking in Joker’s appearance. “It was a mouse, puddin, and no, it wasn’t the mouse. I think Bob caught it and released it outside anyway.” She turned her attention back to her phone. 

“Oh,” Joker said, looking disappointed. He really wanted to shoot something, especially now that he had his gun out and ready. He sighed and stood up straight, dropping his gun hand down at his side. 

“So what was the yelp about pumpkin?” Joker asked walking back into the bathroom to put the gun back before he returned to the bedroom and walked over to sit on the bed with her. 

With irritation furrowing his wife’s brow, she showed her phone to Joker. “It’s this stupid game!! You only get so many hearts per turn and then if you want to do better at the game, you have to make these in-game purchases.” 

Joker took her phone to examine the game. It was a fairly simply matching game. He inspected the purchase prices, his green eyebrows riding up his forehead as he looked at the price levels on the game. They started out as low as ninety-nine cents all the way up to a cool one hundred dollars. Joker frowned as he examined Harley’s game. It was a cute little match game where she could buy decorations (with play money she earned in the game), but she could make purchases with real money for play money to use in the game. 

“This is a real scam here,” Joker murmured as he looked through the possible purchases, what you got for each level. “How many people play this game at one time?” Joker asked glancing over at Harley. 

Harley shrugged putting the pad of one of her fingers against the still not quite dry green mask on his cheek, her finger coming back sticky. “I don’t know, hundreds, maybe thousands of people all over the world. Why?” 

Joker grinned at her. “Just think of how much money we could make if we made our own game!” 

Harley scooted closer to him looking down at her phone in his hand. “Yeah, but don’t you need to know how to program a game? I mean I know you know a lot about computers puddin, but you’ve never programmed a game before, have you?” 

Joker scowled and handed her back her phone. “No.” He folded his arms over his bare chest before he grinned slowly. “You know poo, we could just get ourselves our own programmer.” 

Harley had gone back to playing her game, but stopped to stare at him. “What?” 

He turned to face her, which only made Harley giggle at the green mask that was drying quickly on his face. Joker knew exactly what she was laughing about and stuck his tongue out at her. 

“I need to look pretty for fighting Batsy, you know that.” 

Harley purred scooting closer again and booped his nose. “You are always pretty to me puddin.” 

Joker purred, gathering her into his arms and yanking her over to straddle his lap. “Oh, is that so?” 

Harley tossed her phone onto the bed, her game forgotten. “Yup.” She tilted her head to the side and began to pull on the corner of the mask where it had dried and started to slowly peel it off his pale, bleached skin. 

Joker remained still, letting her work, enjoyed letting Harley pull the mask free. He liked the way her nose wrinkled and her blue eyes looked so serious while she concentrated, his adorable, murderous little kitten. 

Harley tossed the dried flakes of mask to the side after wadding them into balls. Once Harley had pulled the mask clean from his face, only leaving little bits here and there around his nose and forehead, she reached up and unwrapped the towel from his head, dropping it to the floor. HIs hair was a wild forest of thick green semi-dried curls around his head. Running her fingers through his curls, Harley smiled with pleasure before she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him; a deep, slow, passionate kiss. 

Joker growled in the back of his throat sliding his hands up and under her nightie to feel the smooth warmth of her skin, his body reacting instantly to her on his lap. 

Brushing her nose against his, Harley whispered. “Is that a gun in your towel or are you happy to see me?” 

Joker chuckled, grasping her rear and pressing her down on his erection. “It’s a gun, I promise.” Then he whispered seductively. “A meat gun.” 

Harley giggled and smacked him playfully on the shoulder. “That’s terrible,” 

Joker purred, keeping her on his lap when she tried to wiggle off. “Oh, you love it.” 

Harley’s response was to kiss him again, cupping the sides of his face while Joker slid his fingers past the band of her panties to grasp the smooth bare skin of her rear. 

The smooth, slow back and forth movements of her pressing down on him made the semi-hard erection he had blossom into a fully hard member that made him grunt each time she ground down on him. 

“I just had a shower Harley,” Joker whispered before he licked her ear. “Are you trying to make me dirty again, you little minx…” 

Harley's response was a giggle and wiggle of her hips that made him grunt with pleasure. 

“Just making sure you deserve to have another bath tomorrow.” 

Joker surprised her when he moved quickly, standing up. The towel around his hips dropped to the floor as he spun around and pressed her into the bed. He stood back just long enough to pull her panties down her legs while Harley giggled and laughed, helping him by lifting her hips and kicking her legs. 

He tossed the ruffled panties to the floor and climbed onto the bed, kissing his way up her body, starting with a press of his lips against her sex to a trail of kisses up to her belly, his head moving under the top of her nightie as he worked his way between her breasts, followed by soft kisses around the curves of her breasts before licking each of her hard nipples. 

Harley giggled as he pushed himself up, her nightie sliding off his head where it pooled over the top her breasts before he captured her mouth with his red lips. 

Harley made a soft, desperate sound, which Joker answered by sliding into her. She jerked in pleasure, groaning against his mouth in response. She pressed her feet against the mattress as she rose up to meet his thrusts, her hands skating along the smooth expanse of his back. 

The bed squeaked in rhythm with their movements, the sound mixing with their pants and moans of delight. Harley wrapped one leg around him and flipped Joker onto his back. 

He laughed when his back hit the mattress and Harley rose up on top of him, pressing down on him. Her hands pressed down on his chest, caressing the smooth, pale skin while she rocked her pelvis in smooth rowing motions. 

Joker smiled at her, groaning with pleasure, his hands sliding up her thighs to her hips and under the top of her nightie. He enjoyed the feel of her smooth, warm skin under his hands. Watching her move, the light shining through the thin fabric of her nightie, her nipples hard under the fabric, her pigtails rocking with her rhythm, made him suck his bottom lip into his mouth with the intensity of pleasure and feelings she evoked in him. Rocking back and forth, Harley pressed her fingers into his chest before she arched her back, reaching behind her to grasp his knees and continued to slide back and forth on him, groaning with each thrust. When Joker’s hands snaked down her stomach until his thumb pressed against her clitoris, Harley came with a loud gasping cry, her back arching as the burst of ecstasy started low only to spread through her body like a burst of starlight. 

Joker grinned, feeling her tighten and then felt a rush of warmth. He loved watching her orgasm, loved the expression of wild abandon on her face. He hissed in response to her climax, feeling the delicious tightening of her body around him before he grabbed her, pulling her down to him for another kiss, while at the same time rolling her again so that he was once more on top. 

Harley gasped against his mouth, followed by a giggle when her head hit the mattress again. She responded by wrapping her arms and legs around him, holding him tightly to her. 

Joker pounded into her with quick, hard, deep thrusts that had Harley crying out again. The squeaking of the bed became louder with each hard thrust, her cries of pleasure mixing with the sound of straining springs. 

Harley dropped her legs, caressing the back of his calves with her feet, biting and kissing his shoulders, then his throat; she couldn’t get enough of him, desperate to have more of him. 

Joker brushed his nose against hers, their tongues twisting, each thrust sending a ripple through her that spread slowly until she was mewing again on another high. Stroking her hands down his back, feeling all the tiny scars that marred his body, her fingers read the map of his skin while she kissed him hungrily until she felt the change in him, the earnest need, the building tension. She held onto him, capturing his moans with her mouth, sharing in his pleasure, urging him with her body until he gasped, then groaned, whispering her name as he pumped into her body. 

The final thrust caused him to collapse against her with a happy sigh. Harley giggled with pleasure stroking her fingers along his sides until Joker wiggled in response. 

“That tickles,” he whispered against her neck. 

Harley purred kissing his shoulder. “I know--that’s why I’m doing it.” 

“You are a wicked, wicked woman,” Joker murmured sleepily before grabbing the lobe of her ear in a playful bite. 

Harley laughed and giggled, trying to pull away from his bite to which he responded by sticking his tongue in her ear, which only made her squeal more. 

“Stop!!” Harley lightly smacked his sides. 

“Only if you stop first!” Joker blew in her ear. 

Harley laughed. “Fine, fine, I’ll stop!” 

Joker grinned kissing the tip of her nose. “See? I always win. Now, back to what we were talking about...how do we get a game programmer?” 

Harley wrapped her legs around him, unwilling to let him pull out of her just yet as she lazily stroked his now very curly hair. “Mm...maybe we don’t need to kidnap one, maybe we just put an ad out for one.” 

Joker wrinkled his nose. “What?” 

Harley nodded as the idea took root. “Yeah, there are a lot of gaming people out there, let’s just put an ad on some sites...it’ll be like fishing…” 

Joker, who had been softly kissing her jaw muttered. “I hate fishing, so boring.” 

Harley twisted her head a little to look at him. “When have you been fishing?” 

Joker shrugged. “No idea, but I know it's boring.” 

Harley shook her head and giggled, which caused Joker to slide out of her. She frowned slightly. The moment their bodies became disconnected after sex was always a little sad she thought. 

Joker pushed up, grabbing the towels off the floor handing her one to clean with while he stood and cleaned himself off. 

“All right, so we put an ad out for a game programmer...then we kidnap them?” he asked, walking naked across the room after taking her towel when she was done and tossed them both into the bathroom. He grabbed his boxer shorts. They were purple, gold, and white with purple stars on one side and purple and gold stripes on the other. He came back into the bedroom just as Harley was pulling their bed covers back. 

“Yes, we kidnap them then,” Harley said as she adjusted the pillows and slipped into bed. “We pick...I don't know, maybe two of them and make them design the game for us. Our game idea, though.” 

Joker hopped into bed next to her and slipped under the covers to lie on his back. He put his arm up and Harley snuggled against him, her head on his chest. They settled down, Joker reaching over to turn off the light. 

“I like it. We should find a place for interviews!” Joker warmed to the idea. 

Harley answered sleepily. “I bet Frost could find us an office building. He could do the interviews and we could hide behind a curtain or something to listen…” 

Joker chuckled as his own voice became sleepy. “Oh, like the Wizard of Oz!” 

Harley’s laugh sounded drugged as sleep pulled at her. “Yeah...we will be the wizards behind the curtain, except we’re gonna be putting sacks on their heads and tying them up if they get the job.” 

Joker yawned. “That sounds kinky. I think I should do that to you sometime.” 

Harley’s response was a light snore that made him smile before he finally drifted off to sleep. 

* 

Finding an abandoned office building in Gotham City was easy, while designing the add was a little harder. But with Bob’s help, within twenty-four hours, The Giggles and Laughs gaming company had a website and an ad that could be found on all the major gaming networking sites and within twenty-four hours after that, Joker and Harley had a long list of people who had applied for the job. 

They narrowed their search down to people in Gotham, then arranged for the interviews to take place at The Giggles and Laughs corporate building, a building located in downtown Gotham City. 

* 

Wearing a version of her jester suit with red and black leggings, a little ruffled red and black layered skirt, a black and red corset with a black, long sleeved skirt underneath and a headpiece that had extra long points that ended in large fluffy white pom poms, Harley--along with Bob’s (who was wearing a matching red and black tutu ensemble) help--set the the folding adjustable room divides that they had brought with them while Joker and Frost set up the desk with office stuff: pens, papers, a laptop, fidget toy, and a few miscellaneous objects, though they were arguing about the name plate. Frost was hoping to get through the interviews quickly enough that he could take Ecco out for dinner. 

“Boss, I think if we use your nameplate, someone is going to get suspicious.” Frost, dressed in his typical black suit, white shirt and red tie combo, said, trying to keep his voice reasonable. He had already tried and lost to prevent the Boss and Miss Quinn from going with the Giggles and Laughs company name, which concerned him that Batman might somehow take notice...That damn vigilante was too smart for Frost’s comfort. 

Joker, who was wearing black suit with gold lapels, a purple pinstripe vest, blood red shirt and a pair of red and black dress shoes, pouted, sticking out his cherry red bottom lip. “But this is a great name plate! Mr. Boss Bossman! They’ll be so nervous that they’ll never notice!” 

Frost sighed. “Sir, I think they’ll notice a name like Mr. Boss Bossman.” 

Joker made a sour face at Frost. “You know? Sometimes Frosty, you are really no fun at all.” 

Frost opened his mouth to respond, but Harley came dancing over. “Okay puddin, the curtains are ready!! And Bingo just called up to say that the first applicant is here!” 

Joker clapped his hands before grabbing Harley’s hands. The two of them danced around, swinging each other in a circle for a few joyful seconds before he pulled her into his arms for a tight hug and laughed. “Fantastic! The nameplate stays Frost!” He kissed the top of Harley’s head. “Okay Harls--let’s go hide!” Joker giggled, taking off at a run, pulling Harley with him behind the screen while Harley giggled the whole time. 

Frost called out. “Boss, do you have the ear bud?” 

Joker turned and waved a hand before tapping the earbud in his right ear, causing a low whine in the earbud in Frost’s ear. The big man flinched. “Yes, yes, darling!! I’m all wired up!! Don’t look so worried Frosty! It’ll be fine! You’ll hear all my questions and answers, I promise!” 

Harley giggled and blew Frost a kiss before Joker dragged her back behind the curtains. Frost cringed for a moment hoping they didn’t start fooling around back there, because that would make his process even more awkward because he would hear everything. He shuddered. 

His eyes were drawn back to the nameplate that Joker had left on the desk. Frost sighed before he glanced over at Bob who was standing by the desk. The big man had picked up the name plate and was looking the plate over before he glanced back at Frost and shrugged, putting the nameplate down with a smile. Frost watched Bob follow the Boss and Miss Quinn behind the curtain. 

Well if Bob was back there with them, the chances of them going at it on the floor had dropped, but it was still a possibility, which would completely ruin all of this… 

Frost sighed again, glancing back the way the Boss, Miss Quinn, and Bob had gone before he picked up the nameplate and turned it so that the name was facing the desk chair. 

He then walked around and took his seat behind the desk, straightening his tie and waited for the first applicant. 

* 

The first five applicants were acceptable; they were all qualified for the position, but lacked something that Frost couldn’t put his finger on (though it didn’t help when he was getting commentary on the applicants from Joker and Harley, which consisted mostly of very bad jokes and making fun of the applicants’ names.) 

Frost reached over and took a sip of his water as Bingo stepped into the office. Bingo was dressed in a suit and clean of any clown makeup, which left Bingo looking like a very ordinary balding man in his late forties. (Frost found it so strange, looking at Bingo and seeing just some random guy.) Behind Bingo came a young woman with dyed white hair that she wore in a short, sleek bob, dressed in jeans and a simple green t-shirt that read: I Paused My Game To Be Here. 

Bingo showed her to the chair across from Frost. She smiled and handed him the folder she carried with her resume as she took her seat. 

Frost took a folder from her with a smile. “Tanya Yamaguchi?” 

Tanya smiled. “Yep that’s me, and you’re Mr. Frost.” 

Frost nodded, opening her folder. “Yes, thank you for coming.” 

Tanya grinned. “No problem. This is the first in person interview I’ve ever had, they are usually done over the internet or through DMs. this is kinda old school--I like it.” 

Frost smiled. “We like to do things a little old fashioned around her. So...let me ask you--have you ever designed a game?” 

Tanya leaned back in her chair clearly at ease. “Yep, I worked on a bunch of little games from Dragon Eggs to some of those Sandra Salon games you can play on your phone.” (Behind the curtains Frost heard a squeak that was clearly Miss Quinn, which he took to mean that Miss Quinn knew of these games that Tanya was talking about.) 

Frost nodded, looking over her resume when he heard the Boss’s voice in his ear. “Harley says yes on this one because she likes the Sandra Salon games. We'll be out in a minute.” 

Frost kept his calm, continuing to pretend to read Tanya Yamaguchi’s resume while she talked, her words lost on him as he waited for the Boss and Miss Quinn. 

He didn’t have to wait long. 

Tanya was talking about her own game that she hoped to design when her voice trailed off. Frost heard the light tap on the floor; he knew that sound. He looked up at Tanya to see that she was staring, her mouth open. He turned and saw the Boss walking with his walking stick making the light tap on the floor toward them with Miss Quinn on his arm. 

Tanya didn’t move, though her eyes had grown very large. “What...what…” she murmured as if she couldn’t quite believe what she was seeing. 

“Tanya! Darling!! Today is your lucky day, my dear! You have been chosen to be in the employment of yours truly--the Joker and my partner in crime, the beautiful and talented Harley Quinn.” 

Harley waved. “Hiya!” 

Tanya stared, her face pale, but then she started to grin. “Oh, oh, I see what this is. It’s one of those shows isn’t it?” She looked at Frost. “One of those shows where something crazy happens and then you find out that it’s all this big gag to scare you.” She laughed and pointed at Joker and Harley, then at Frost. “It was Evan. Evan put you up to this after what I did to his computer with that virus isn’t it?” 

Joker stopped beside the desk, sitting on the side with Harley leaning against his chest, frowning slightly as he kissed Harley’s ear and murmured. “I have no idea what she's talking about…” His frown quickly turned into a smile. “...but I do really like that idea. That could be loads of fun, don’t you think pumpkin?” 

Harley giggled. “That would be a fun idea! Us popping out and scaring people before we kill them!” 

Joker grinned then stopped, frowning again. “Don’t we do that anyways Harls?” 

Harley frowned too, then sighed. “Well, I suppose we do puddin.” 

Joker sighed, wrapping his arm around Harley and kissed her neck. “No worries sweets, we’ll talk about this later. I'm sure we can come up with something fun with that idea. NOW...” 

Joker’s sudden shout made Tanya jump a foot. “Tanya...we’ve decided to hire you! Isn’t that delightful?” 

Tanya eyes looked as if they were going to bug out of her head. “You’re both actors right?” She spoke as if she knew the truth, but was trying to convince herself that what she was seeing, what she thought might be the case, couldn’t possibly be true. 

Harley giggled. “Actors? Really? Oh, she’s funny!” She turned her attention back to Tanya while at the same time leaning back to stroke Joker’s cheek. “There is no actor alive who could do my puddin justice.” 

Joker chuckled, kissing the palm of Harley’s hand. “Ah, thank you sweets.” 

“Anytime puddin,” Harley cooed, turning around to kiss him. Joker pulled her closer, pressing the hand that held his cane against her back as he deepened the kiss. 

Frost momentarily looked panicked that they might take over his desk... 

By the ashen look on Tanya’s face, the game programmer seemed to finally realize that the couple in front of her were in fact the real Joker and Harley Quinn. 

She opened her mouth to scream, but during the conversation with Joker and Harley, Tanya had failed to notice the big man in the tutu slipping up behind her with the cloth which he quickly pressed over her nose and mouth. Within a few seconds the young woman was out, slipping down in her chair. 

Harley hurried over to Tanya and stroked her hair. “Oh, I like her hair. She’s pretty.” 

Joker made a face. “Whatever. BOB! Take her to the back and tie her up, and let the interviews continue!” 

Frost frowned. “But Boss...I thought…” 

Joker smiled walking over to pat his cheek. “We need at least two Frost darling, that way we can get this game out by the end of the week and start raking in some dough! Besides, it always helps to have a spare in case one of them...fails to live up to expectations. Now...on with the interviews!” 

Bob picked up Tanya, tossing her easily over his shoulder. Harley hurried to catch up with Joker who had already started to walk into the back. 

Frost sat back down with a silent groan. 

* 

Three more interviews went by with no one making any impression except for a young man named Francine who kept talking down to Frost, even calling him Boomer once or twice. Joker thought the young man was extremely obnoxious, enough so that he almost came out from hiding just to shoot the kid. Only Harley stopped him, telling him they would never clean the blood up enough to have any more interviews that evening if he did that. 

Frost heard the entire argument through his earpiece. After Harley had calmed the Boss down, Joker told Frost to keep Francine’s information. Frost sighed, not really feeling sorry for the young man who was going to get a visit from the Joker sooner or later. 

Frost smiled a bit and muttered under his breath. “Okay Boomer,” to Francine’s retreating back. 

The last interview of the evening was with a young man named Darren Ryan Green. The young man was short, with shaggy brown hair and glasses. He had worn a suit to the interview, but the suit was clearly not his, for the jacket was too small and the pants were too long. He looked a bit like a kid playing dress up. 

He held a briefcase and a folder against his chest as he walked in, his eyes behind his very large glasses were huge, shooting back and forth nervously. 

Frost stood and smiled, his hand out. “Darren Ryan Green?” 

Darren hurried over and took Frost’s hand, promptly dropping his folder. “Ah yes--oh sorry!” He quickly gathered up his folder; the papers had flown out though there were only three of them. 

Frost motioned at the chair. “Have a seat Darren.” 

Darren sat, but said softly as he set his folder on the table. “Thank you.” 

Frost started to open his mouth when he heard Miss Quinn say. “Oh, he’s cute! He would go great with Tanya!” Followed by the Boss’s chuckle. “Is my little Harley wanting to play matchmaker?” 

“Oh, can I puddin?” Frost heard Miss Quinn giggle. 

Frost stiffened as the Boss’s voice said through his earpiece. “Okay Frost darling, we’re coming to get him!” 

Frost frowned looking over at Darren. The poor kid didn’t stand a chance. He heard the curtain move followed by the Boss yelling out. 

“DARREN!! My DARLING!!” 

Darren jumped even higher than Tanya had, looking over Frost’s shoulder to see Joker and Harley Quinn walking across the office toward him, the real Joker and Harley Quinn! He could see instantly they were the real deal. 

Darren’s mouth moved open and shut like a fish gasping for water, then, before Bob could move behind him or Joker or Harley could say a word, Darren fainted, sinking to the floor into a puddle. 

Joker and Harley stopped in front of the puddle that was now Darren and sighed. “Well, so much for our dramatic entrance, toots.” 

Harley dropped into a crouch, reaching out to turn Darren’s head. “Aww, the little nerd just couldn’t take how spectacular we are puddin.” She stood back up with a grin. “He’ll be perfect with Tanya!” She clapped her hands. “Oh it’s almost like getting a set of dolls!” 

Joker laughed and put his arm around Harley’s waist, turning his attention to Bob. “Well Bob dear, let’s wrap him up and take him and Tanya home with us. We’ve got some money to make!” 

* 

The smell of coffee was what woke Tanya up first. 

The coffee had a rich smell that sang to her blood, which she was sure was made mostly of caffeine. The next thing that got her attention was the sound of someone groaning. She opened her eyes slowly, blinking to focus and found herself tied to a chair in a dark room lit only by the light of several dozen computers. As she focused more, she could see that the computers were state of the art, the newest computers available. 

Next she saw Joker, with Harley sitting on his lap across from her. The two of them were making out pretty hot and heavy. Despite the lack of clear lighting, Tanya had no problem seeing Joker and Harley’s tongues, licking and twisting, followed by the two of them biting each other’s lips and tongues. She could see Joker’s hand on Harley’s breast, squeezing gently. Harley’s hand down between the Joker’s legs, massaging… 

She closed her eyes quickly. Watching Gotham’s two biggest villains going at it was not what she had expected to wake up to. She would have kept her eyes closed except she heard someone next to her groaning. Tanya opened her eyes again and turned to see a mousy guy with huge glasses tied up next to her. He groaned again, and loudly, which caused Tanya to wince. 

“Oh pumpkin, our guests are awake!” Joker chuckled drawing Tanya’s attention just as someone clicked on a light somewhere to flood the room in brightness. 

As the room came into focus, Tanya saw a large man in a red and black tutu and the guy who had conducted her interview standing guard by the door. 

Tanya squinted only to have her blood turn to ice when she saw Joker and Harley watching her. They were both smiling, but they were smiles that made her feel sick to her stomach. 

“Glad to see that you and our dear Darren are awake.” Joker smiled, reaching down to grab Harley’s legs and pull her more firmly onto his lap. Harley draped an arm around his shoulders with her other hand. She played with a curl of green hair around his ear. 

Darren’s voice was high. “Why am I here??!!” 

Joker pointed at Darren. “Good question my boy--why are any of us here?” 

Harley giggled followed by a purr as she licked Joker’s ear. “Well, I’m here for you puddin.” 

Joker chucked deeply, turning to catch her lips in a wet, passionate kiss. Tanya frowned glancing over to the guy that must be Darren. 

Darren looked pale and sick as he glanced back at her. 

Joker sucked on Harley’s bottom lip, tugging on the full red lip with his teeth before releasing her and turning his attention back to Tanya. 

“Well my darlings, you and Darren over there are going to design a game for us, one of those mobile games that has in-app purchasing.” Joker smiled and leaned into Harley who was nibbling at his ear. 

Tanya blinked, not sure she had heard him correctly. “What? A game?” 

Joker nodded. “For the mobile phone.” 

Harley turned her attention to Tanya, laying her head against Joker’s head. “Yes, one of those fun games where you can design your own house or garden, or maybe a salon game.” She wrinkled her nose with a smile. “I love those.” 

Tanya glanced again at the fellow captive before she asked. “That’s what this is about?” 

Joker nodded. “Yep, I figured that one of those games is a great way for me and my girl to make some extra money!” 

Tanya frowned in thought then nodded. “Well, yeah, it is actually.” 

Darren spoke up. “Yeah, those games, if they become popular, can make a lot of money.” 

Tanya pressed her lips, then whispered bravely. “What do me and…” She glanced over at Darren. “...Darren?” 

Darren nodded and she continued. “What do Darren and I get?” 

Joker giggled looking at Harley. “Oh I like her, very mercenary.” 

Harley grinned. “I like that too…” she turned to Tanya. “Well, since my puddin and I are in agreement that we like you…” She glanced over at Darren. “And you too Darren, don’t worry. I just think you and Tanya would be so cute together!” 

Tanya and Darren looked at each other startled while Harley continued. “Anyway, on top of getting to live.” Joker waggled his eyebrows at them and Darren gulped as Harley explained. “If this game makes a lot of money you two can have a cut of the profits…” She glanced at Joker for confirmation of this to which he nodded. Harley continued. “...and, if you want, membership in Joker’s gang. But if the game doesn’t make any money, or you try to escape or send a message for help, then my puddin and I get to kill you.” She shrugged. “Pretty straightforward offer I think.” 

Joker nodded kissing Harley’s cheek. “Yup, straightforward.” 

Tanya frowned in thought. Those types of games could make a lot of money and she needed money; it was one of the reasons she had applied for the job. Granted, working for Joker and Harley could be dangerous, but… 

“I’ll do it,” Tanya declared. “And if the game does well, I want in on the gang.” She glanced over at Darren. “You in?” 

Darren looked terrified, but Tanya was pretty, the kind of girl he admired; not just for being pretty, but damn smart, good with computers and he liked a girl who could take charge. Maybe this wouldn’t be such a bad set up. Maybe he might get a girlfriend out of this, or at least a friend. Besides, he wasn’t doing well trying to be honest out there in Gotham, maybe it was time to give in to the dark side. 

“If Tanya is doing it, then so am I,” Darren said with as much confidence as he could muster. 

Joker smiled while Harley clapped her hands. “Well, what are we waiting for children?? Let’s get started!!” 

* 

Two weeks later a new app game appeared in the app store on everyone’s mobile phone in Gotham and abroad. The game was called Gotham Manor. The story of the game was that the player had inherited a large Victorian mansion that was once the site of a now abandoned asylum. The object of the game was to do simple matching of colored tiles. The game grew more and more complicated and difficult with each level. 

As the game progressed, with each level that was won, the player was given gold coins which could be used to buy furniture, paint, flooring--everything they would need to refurbish the manor and all its floors. After the manor was finished, the game moved out to the grounds, which were extensive, allowing the player to rebuild the gardens, the gazebo, etc. Other parts of the games story included finding clues about the past occupants of the asylum and digging up the truth about the man who gave the player the manor. 

The basic, full game was free, but if you purchased all the extras that the game would receive, depending on the amount spent, boosts, extra furniture, paint colors, flowers for the garden, and more could be had to improve the gaming experience. There were all sorts of bells and whistles available to enhance the playing experience. 

* 

Batman frowned, one foot leaning on the edge of a building, looking out onto the dark streets of Gotham City. It had been quiet tonight, or as quiet as Gotham ever was, meaning the crimes he and Robin had been stopping were mostly petty crimes. The big criminals, such as the mob or any of his regular costumed villains were not out tonight so far. He was surprised at how quiet the city was. 

Contemplating the skyline, wondering if they should head toward Dixon docks, Batman said softly. “Alfred, anything on the police scanner?” 

It took several seconds too long before Alfred answered. “Sorry, no sir.” 

“Is everything all right Alfred?” Batman asked glancing down as a car sped through a red light only to zip past a police vehicle, who turned around and promptly turned on their siren. 

“Sorry sir, I was...well, I was playing a game.” Alfred sounded a bit embarrassed. 

“A game?” Batman asked with a slight air of confusion. 

“Yes sir, on the mobile. It is quite addictive I must say. It’s called Gotham Manor.” Alfred replied. 

“Gotham Manor? Really? Hmmm...Well, as long as it doesn’t interfere with your work,” Batman replied turning to speak with Robin only to frown in annoyance when he saw the young man’s masked face illuminated by the glow of his phone, his thumbs moving over the screen. 

Batman frowned, walking over to stand behind Robin. The game the young was playing on his phone was none other than Gotham Manor (he could see the name in the corner of the screen). 

“Robin, what are you doing?” Batman's voice held a soft growl of disapproval. 

Robin jumped just slightly, barely managing to hide the fact that he had jumped. “I’m playing this new game called Gotham Manor…” He pointed at his phone. “I’ve gotten to level 100 already.” 

He grinned proudly, pointing at his screen. “This here guy…” the image on the screen was of a well-built man with dark hair who Batman thought slightly resembled Bruce Wayne. “I just learned in the game that Gotham Manor used to belong to him and these two…” Robin showed him an image of two characters, a man and woman who looked like attractive clowns in makeup with the man in a Pierrot with the white, billowy outfit with a pointed hat and the woman dressed in a medieval harlequin outfit of black and red diamonds, and a black, tricorder hat and long, braided blonde hair. 

“Now these two are ghosts of a couple who were wrongfully put into the asylum and this guy…” The next image was of a man dressed in a back costume that was a cross between a bat and a owl. “He’s the bad guy trying to prevent the lovers from leaving the asylum. I’m not sure what else is going to happen, but it's a great story and lots of fun.” 

Batman did not look as if he thought either of those statements were true. “This game is free?” 

Robin shook his head. “I mean it's mostly free, but you can buy boosts and stuff, different things for the manor.” 

"Have you spent any money on it?” Batman asked only to have Robin shrug. “Mmm...maybe fifty bucks.” 

Batman frowned even deeper. “What gaming company puts this game out?” 

Robin paused his game to look at the games credits. “It’s a company called Giggles and Laughs gaming company.” 

Batman’s cowl creaked as he ground his teeth. 

* 

Joker giggled, checking the account on screen with Harley on one side of him leaning on his chair to look with Darren on the other as the younger man brought up the screen to explain the profit scale on the computer for them, followed by an explanation of how he was moving the money around to make it untraceable. 

“The game is really addictive,” Darren was saying proudly. “We are making thousands every day--and it is legal Mr. Joker. I don’t see how or why Batman would come after us, but I did as you said and the money is being bounced around and will end up here.” He pointed on screen with a grin. 

Joker chuckled looking at the number on the screen. “This is going to burn old Batsy’s ass when he figures it out!” He wiggled and stamped his feet with glee before he twisted around in the office chair and pulled Harley into his lap. “And he can’t do anything about it because it’s LEGAL!! Who would have thought I would get under his skin by doing something that wasn’t against the law!! And it’s all thanks to you sweets!” 

Harley laughed as her puddin tugged her into his lap, deciding not to point out that it was really because Tanya and Darren had designed a great game (and had decided to stay with the gang. Now she just had to work on getting them together as a couple). Instead she soaked up Joker’s praise followed by his kisses. 

Darren smiled, stepping back, glancing over to where Tanya was sitting. She gave him a thumbs up, which he returned. Darren laughed softly. He never thought he would be happy as part of a criminal organization, but he was getting to design other games with a really pretty and cool partner, he liked Frost and Bob, and the other members were treating him fairly well. 

Being a member of Joker and Harley Quinn’s gang was pretty cool. 

* 

It took Batman most of the night, but he eventually traced the Giggles and Laughs gaming company to an empty building in downtown Gotham. When he landed on the window sill of the office, he saw nothing there. No office furniture, no chairs, no desks--nothing. 

Robin landed on the sill of another window and peaked in. “There’s no one here.” 

Batman grunted and went inside anyway to investigate. 

Robin frowned at him, but followed. 

Batman walked around, turning on the light at his hip, Robin doing the same, but as he walked around the empty space, he saw nothing. That was until his light passed over the floor. 

“Robin--bring your light over here.” 

Robin hurried over and showed his light down onto the floor, walking around. “It looks like there’s something written...Oh…” 

Batman saw it the same moment Robin did. Spray painted on the floor in bright neon green. “BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME BATS! ENJOY THE GAME!!” 

Robin pressed his lips together and wisely said nothing, though he promised himself to never play Gotham Manor where Batman would catch him.


End file.
